A new book by Chris Carey
You mean to call. You mean to visit. Yet you rarely do. Seven rules and a companion workbook to help you find your way back to the people you miss.
The New Rules of
FRIENDSHIP
How to Build Lasting Connections in a World Designed for Loneliness
Early praise
Midlife has a way of stripping away the structures we once relied on to define our lives, and friendship is often one of the first things we realize we’ve taken for granted. Chris Carey has written the playbook for that moment. This book is a thoughtful, practical, and deeply human exploration of how we can intentionally build the relationships that sustain us.
We keep trying to fit friendship into the leftovers of a busy life. Chris makes the case that it was never going to fit, then walks us through building a life that has a space for it.
The problem nobody names
You move. They have a kid. A season of work swallows a year. It rarely feels like a loss while it’s happening. Then life throws you a curveball and you lie awake at 2 a.m. wondering who would actually take your call.
12%
of Americans say they have no close friends, up from 3% in 1990
49%
have three or fewer close friends, up from 27% in 1990
7 rules
to put it back together
Loneliness is the gap between the relationships you want and the ones you actually have.
Inside the book
They’re not commandments. They’re the things I wish someone had handed me ten years ago, when I needed them most.
Free PDF download
Before you can rebuild, you have to see where things really stand. The Friendship Audit is a short, honest look at your closest relationships and where the gaps are. Enter your email and I’ll send it your way.
About Chris
Then as circumstances changed some friendships were lost while others were strained. I had been taking friendship for granted and I found myself isolated and longing for connection. This isn’t a book from a friendship expert. It’s a book from someone who got it wrong, wants to get it right, and is inviting you to come along.
More about Chris
From the blog
Chris Carey’s newsletter on building and keeping real friendships as an adult.
What a Minneapolis band reminded me about paying attention to your friends
Read the article
We Stopped Asking The neighborly decline, and the rule about asking for help that I had backwards my whole life 
Where Did All the Dance Clubs Go? And what we lost when they disappeared. 
It was never about catching fish Fishing has never really been my thing. Get new articles by email
Free, from Chris’s Substack.
Coming November 2026
Think of one person you’ve been meaning to reach out to, and send them a message today. Then, if you’d like to help support this book before it launches, sign up below.