A couple weeks ago I dusted off my golf simulator and sent a photo to the neighborhood group chat. "Would love to have any of you guys over if you'd like to get some practice in before the season!"
One friend replied, "I would be up for that one of these days."
That was March 12th. We still haven't gotten together.
And here's the part that gets me: I'm the one who extended the invitation. I put it out there, got the response I was hoping for, and then just... let it sit. Like suggesting it was enough.
"Let's get together soon" might be the most well-intentioned lie we tell each other. Four words that feel like reaching out but cost us nothing. We never attach a date or a time to it. Just the warmth of good intentions with none of the follow-through.
Interestingly enough, I was already thinking about this a few weeks earlier. I was on Andrew McMahon's Holiday from Real cruise in the Caribbean, and one of the supporting acts was a band called Petey USA. They played a song called "Breathing the Same Air" that brought up some powerful emotions I wasn't expecting or prepared for. The whole song is about not knowing what to say to a friend who's going through something hard. So you just show up. And breathing the same air is often enough.
Something about hearing that on a ship in the middle of the ocean made me think about my friendships back home differently.
Maybe the reason "let's get together soon" never turns into anything is because we've convinced ourselves that getting together requires a reason. The golf simulator. A dinner plan. Something worth coordinating around. But the song suggests something simpler. That sometimes just being in the same room is the whole point.
I wonder how many of us are one unscheduled hangout away from feeling whole again.
No agenda, no calendar coordination. Just showing up and breathing the same air.
I'm going to send a different kind of text this week. Not "let's get together soon." Something with a day and a time attached to it.
Or you know what? Maybe I'll skip the text entirely and just walk over.
